Resident Falls
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: Dipper and Mabel Pines are excited! They get to spend the summer with their Gruncle Albert in the Umbrela corporate town of 'Gravity Falls' working at his medical clinic...wait, what? (Continued in 'Tales of the falls')
1. Chapter 1

**Resident Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Stanford Pines was ecstatic! In a couple of days he'd be at his dream college...he was a little sad he wouldn't see Stanley anymore...but he was certain they could make it work-

Suddenly, his Father Filbrick entered the room. "Son, you'll never guess what just happened! Your older brother Albert has come home! More importantly, he's brought someone who can make our family a lot of money!"

Ford looked at him confused as he followed. He barely remembered Albert...he'd been 10 when he went off to work for the military...and before that he'd mainly kept to himself...Still, might be nice to see him again after all these years...

…...

THE ANSWER IS NO! Shouts an outraged Ford toward Oswell E. Spencer. Albert had apparently used his contacts in the military to arrange a meeting with a big-wig from a arms manufacture/pharmaceutical company named Umbrella(honestly, what kind of name was that for a company?).

Apparently they'd been hoping that he'd sell his perpetual motion invention to them so they could use it for military purposes(that'll be a cold day in hell if he had anything to say about it).

Fibrick looked at him shocked. "Son, be reasonable! Their offering a million dollars! We-

"That's quite alright dad. If Ford doesn't want to sell his invention, we should respect that." Said Albert suddenly much to everyone's surprise.

Ford is first to recover. He thanks Albert for sticking up for him and leaves. Filbrick glares at Albert. "What are you playing at son?"

Albert sighed. "I'm 'playing at' making us rich. You can attract more flies with honey, than vinegar you know." He explains to his dad.

Filbrick merely looks baffled. "What are you talking about? He asks confused.

Albert smirks. "Let me answer your question with a question: Which is more important: Money, or your sons-

"Money." Interrupted Filbrick flatly. Albert chuckled. "Right, ask a stupid question." He states amused.

…...

Ford couldn't believe it...All his hopes and dreams...ruined. "How could this have happened!? It was working yesterday!" Exclaimed Ford out loud.

Albert just shook his head distraught. "I don't know brother...it's all so terrible." He then spots something. "What's this?" He asks as he picks a discarded bag of Toffee Peanut bag. "Isn't this Stanley's favorite snack food?"

Ford snatches it up, examines it, and growls. "Now, brother. Calm yourself. Let's not jump to conclusions, I'm sure Stanley can explain this." Reassures Albert, ever the mediator.

"He dame well better!" Snaps Ford as he storms off. After Ford is gone, Albert smiles. He reaches into Fords machine and easily fixes the problem. _Poor, predictable, foolish Stanley...You will be missed..._

… _..._

It should come to no one's surprise that after Stanley was kicked out of the house...Ford was in a bad mood...his mood didn't improve when Albert ran into his room telling him that their father had gone behind his back and sold his perpetual motion prototype to Umbrella.

The following fight between the two brothers and their dad...and their being kicked out of the house...Also didn't lift Stanfords spirits.

Thankfully, Albert had made some wise investments, a fair share of contacts. He says he should have enough to support them and get him through college(a third rate community college, but still better than nothing).

Ford smiles...it was nice to have at least one family member who wasn't selfish and was willing to help others...

…...

After calling his father to both thank him for his 'performance' and reassure him that his half of the money would be along shortly.

He then makes another call. "Project: Goldengoose is a go...my brother has already invented a light bulb that will both never burn out and make your skin softer, I'll send the design to you soon. As for my father...he's a liability...so make it look like an accident...

…...

"So these 'transistors' will allow all people to have 'personal computers' you say?" Asks Albert to Ford's roommate at Backupsmore. Fiddleford smiled. "Yep! I also have digital blueprints for something to hook them all up together collectively...I call it the internet!"

Wesker smirked. "How ambitious...I must say I'm very glad that my brother introduced us." "As am I!" Says Fiddleford eagerly.

"Yes, well you look tired my friend. Why don't you go downstairs and buy yourself a Fizzypop and slice of pizza. On me." Said Albert reassuringly as he gave him some money. Fiddleford thanked him and left to do just that...which gave Albert the opportunity he needed to copy all of his research and schematics...

…...

For the first time in his life, Albert was speechless. When Ford wanted to come to Gravity Falls to study 'anomalies'. He'd humored him and came with him mainly because he didn't want to lose control of his 'Golden Goose'.

And yet here he was. Standing before a caged shape-shifting monster. Quickly getting over his shock, he made sure to steal a blood sample when Ford wasn't looking and send it to Umbrella. _Well, as amazing as this was...it wouldn't surprise me if this was just once in a lifetime fluke-_

…...

 _-I've never been more happy to be proven wrong._ Thought Albert from inside the bowels of a giant alien spaceship...

…...

"Extraordinary, isn't it?" Comments Ford as the lights of the crystal alter the size of everything that got too close. "Indeed." Said Albert sincerely while he secretly pocketed some samples...

…...

-"Fascinating, what did you say your name was?" Asked Ford to the gnome. "Schmebulock... Senior." Stated the gnome gruffly.

Stan nodded. "Well, I think I'm finished here." He turns to Albert. "Hey Albert I need to check on another experiment. Would you mind releasing Schmebulock back into the wild for me?"

Albert smirked. "Not at all brother." Ford thanked him and left. The moment he was gone, Albert threw Schmebulock into a dog-carrier and shipped him off to Umbrella...

…...

Albert creeped into Fords room and quickly copied all the information concerning the body-switching rug, clonning copy machine and anything else he and Fiddelford had been working on since the last time he'd done this...last week...

…...

With Ford out of town, now was his chance! Thought Albert to himself as he picks the lock on Ford's 'secret' room. Silently he opens the door and enters. "Hello, what have we here?" Asked Albert aloud as he beheld a strange painting of a triangle creature in a top hat...

…...

"I'm sorry that things didn't work out between you and my brother." Said Albert reassuringly. "For what it's worth, I agree with you. That portal is far too dangerous."

Fiddelford smiled appreciatively. "Thank you Albert...Do you think you can talk sense into him?" He implored.

Albert sighed. "I'll do my best, but don't hold your breath...you know how stubborn he can get." To do this Fiddelford could only give a resigned nod.

"Despite this unpleasantness, I hope you and I can still be friends." Asked Albert. Fiddelford smiled. "Oh, of course! Those psychological tricks you've been teaching me have really helped my night-terrors! Thanks again for that!"

 _No, thank_ _ **you**_ _for all that delightful information about Bill that was buried in your subconscious._ Thought Albert with a smirk.

"But despite all your help...the memories of that 'incident' still haunt me...which is why I invented this!" Shouts Fiddelford excitedly as he whips out a strange gun. Albert quirks his eye with interest.

…...

"Relocating me to where my talents will do the most good for the company? Bah! Sugarcoat it however you want! Exile is still exile!" Shouts a furious James Marcus. "This is Spencer's doing! With Ashford dead, he sees his chance to take over!"

Albert nodded. "I quite agree...unfortunately all the older executives seem to back him...The younger executives on the other hand...I think under the right circumstances they could be turned."

Marcus looks at him curiously. "How do you mean?" Albert smiles as he explains his idea...

…...

"The Umbrella Executive Training Center?" Asks Spencer skeptically. Albert nods. "Marcus claims that it's purpose is to 'train researchers as prospective executive officers to become the next generation of the company's management.'"

Spencer growls. "Which is just a fancy way of saying he'll brainwash all the newblood and turn them against me!" Albert again nods. "It seems so, I'm afraid." He concedes.

Spencer begins to pace back and forth nervously. "It seems like your idea to 'relocate' him was a blessing in disguise! I currently can't do anything against him directly; according to the reports you've given me. The board is clearly leaning on his side...But I can still send a representative to keep and eye on things!"

He turns to Albert. "Albert, old buddy...will you help me?" Albert smirks. "Anything for an old friend...

…...

 **SNAP!**

Albert sighed as he snapped Fiddelfords neck. _What a waist._ He thought to himself. He quickly goes around and euthanize all of Fiddelfords 'Blind-eye's'...or what's left of them anyway.

Apparently, Fiddelford got wise to the experiments he was secretly doing to him and his comrades, he tried to lead a revolt...which of course failed miserably.

Unfortunately, Fiddelford was able to get one shot off from his Memory-gun...Now he remembered nothing of the portal or the journals!

This was...annoying. Ford was becoming increasing erratic and unreliable...he'd hidden two of the journals(he no longer remembered where); and the one he had left had a bio-lock that would allow only him access!

This was unacceptable! Many of his plans were now in jeopardy unless he at least gained access to the journal that Ford still had!

But how to get it? Ford was listening to him less and less(Ford still considered him his only true family(except possibly Shermy), but he was no long his confidant)! He could just take it...but that would turn Ford against him! Which would be bad long-term in case he ever needed him again...especially for anything concerning a certain dream demon. So where did that leave him?

Suddenly he smirks. _Perhaps it's time to convince Ford to have a family reunion..._ Thinks Albert as he brings up a picture of Stanley...

…...

Stanley looked up in horror at the portal where his brother disappeared from this world.

He hears a noise behind him. He turns around to see Albert. "Stanley, what have you done!?" Demanded an angry Albert.

"It was an accident!" Exclaimed a tearful Stanley. "Please Albert! Help me bring him back! I'll do anything!" Albert quirked his eyebrow. "Anything?" He asks in the most apathetic way possible...

…...

"Uh, explain to me what your doing again?" Asked Stanley from inside the machine. "Using your twin D.N.A. I should be able use the machine to fool the Bio-lock on the journal to allow you access." Stated Albert simply.

"Right...okay...and then we fix the portal?" Asked Stanley hopefully. Albert laughed. "Oh good heavens no! Putting aside the fact that the portal is a death trap waiting to happen...were missing 2/3rd's of the schematic!"

Albert shook his head. "Oh, no we'll be using a safer...if more unorthodox way of bringing him home safety. That's depicted in full-detail in this one journal."

He turns to Stanley. "Of course, it might require a small sacrifice on your part." He admitted.

Stanley just glares. "bring it on!" He snaps. Albert laughs. "That's the spirit"...

…... **30 years later...**

"Ah, summer time comes...and with it my beloved great niece and nephew! Won't that be fun Stanley?" He asks the bloated, deformed, incapacitated, abomination that had once been Stanley Pines.

"It's all lead up to this...I have big plans for this summer!...We'll, best be getting ready to welcome them...so long Stanley!"...

…...

Deep inside Stanley's mind; the now powerless and incapacitated Bill Cipher glares. "I'm going to rip that guy from here to kingdom-come!"

"Yeah, well get in line! Snaps an equally incapacitated and pissed Stanley...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**

 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **AN: There, apparently has been some confusion. I am still continuing this story. I'm just continuing it in 'Tales of the falls' ;it's easier for me to keep track and organize that way.**

 **As for the rate of updating; that depends on real life, inspiration, will of my lord and savior Jesus Christ...and bribing me with 'Shake up the falls chapters.**

 **Yes, for every ONE chapter of my 'Tales of the Falls' challenge you make, I'll have THREE stories of YOUR choosing updated.**

 **...as long as they follow the requirement below:**

 **SHAKE UP THE FALLS: CHALLENGE!**

 **Primary Objective:**

 **Tired of fanfictions just copying cannon and not doing anything really different? Well, I am!**

 **So I say we do a 'deconstruction' of Dipper and Mabels 'sibling bond'! Through the following-**

 **(BEGIN FLASH-FORWARD)**

 ** _A forty-something year old Dipper enters his parents house and takes off his fast-food uniform with a sigh as he looks down at his meager paycheck._**

 ** _A forty-something Mabel (wearing a crazy sweater and surrounded by dozens of cats); looks up._**

 **" _Hey Dipping sauce! Guess what!? I made a 50 ft butterfly made of comics...which I then set ablaze! I'm still the goddess of destruction!...also the police are here again to fine us for burning stuff without a permit...also for unintended arson damage to the neighbors house"_**

 **" _Wait, what!?" Shouts Dipper just as a policeman steps out of the shadows and snatches up Dipper's paycheck._**

 **" _Ah, come on man! I worked overtime the whole week at the drive-through to earn that!" Shouts Dipper. But the Officer had already left._**

 ** _Dipper feels a drop of water on his head...the ceiling was leaking..._**

 **" _I also created a new water slide for Waddles!"_**

 ** _CRASH!_**

 ** _The ceiling gives way as a giant hog crashes down and breaks the floor; water soaking everything!_**

 ** _The cats scatter in panic; breaking various household objects as they do so._**

 ** _Mabel laughs at this. "Ah, they're cute when their crazy!" She shouts as she takes a picture of them._**

 ** _Dipper sighs as he goes to check the emergency fund...only to find it empty..._**

 **" _Hey Dipping sauce! Can we have Pizza tonight!? Duck-tective will be on!" Shouts the ever cheerful yet oblivious Mabel._**

 ** _Dipper just hangs his head...and cries..._**

 ** _(FLASH-FORWARD END)_**

 **What I just showed you was a peek into a future after Gravity falls, where Mabel no longer needs to fear growing up...because she doesn't have to! Why would she need to when she has a pushover brother who is willing to sacrifice everything: never getting married, never being independent, never having a life of his own to make her happy?!(in other words: An Enabler/Co-dependent relationship)  
**

 **You can give this vision to whoever you want: Dipper, Mabel, Wendy, Pacifica, Stan, Ford, Soos, etc- You can have it sent to them at any time in the series, or have them sent back in time, or do a Peggy Sue! And have them use this knowledge to shatter cannon!**

 **Also Bill Cipher's threat needs to be taken more seriously!(I'm talking actual full-on Armageddon preparation after his first appearance!) And they need to take Gideon seriously when he sends the creepy letters and hosts his TV show(You don't have to kill him, but the Pines Family have to at least Neutralize him...or make some kind preparation to fight him when he breaks out). EXAMPLE: Mable is forced to take Dipper more seriously and not mess with him to survive or The realization that she and her loved one's might die at the end of the summer make Wendy not so hung up on the whole 'age gap' with Dipper and goes out with him.  
**

 **Also, the hero's need to be proactive! When Gideon starts sending creepy letters and making television broadcasts, they need to take care of him(kill or neutralize; either works). All that matters is that they strike first at the first sign of trouble; And don't just have them wait around and do nothing!  
**

 **NO LEMONS, LIMES, YAOI, YURI OR INCEST PLEASE! I HATE THAT STUFF...  
**

 **Secondary objective: the following episodes can't end as they did in cannon!(especially if your doing a Crossover!) If you want to kill Wendy and have Pacifica be the rebound fine. Or you could have Wendy give Dipper a chance after saving him from ghosts...have them go on a couple dates(this can even happen off-screen if it's easier)...Wendy decides it's not going to work...and then land Pacifica on the rebound(that works too) Just do something different!(conversely, you could also just give Pacifica Tyrone and Dipper could have Wendy...just saying...everyone would be happy...)**

 **"The Inconveniencing".(it annoyed me that no one did anything with Wendy's 'stare at wall and rethink everything' statement, I'd appreciate some help there)  
**

 **Time Travelers Pig(call it semantics if you must, but I would never let a girl get hurt just to save a pig. Mabel's just going to have to suck it up and learn she can't have everything)(I'd recommend using Steven Universes 'The Answer' as a template(or it's Aesop at least)) The ending can't be cannon! Especially if your doing a crossover!(Endings where BOTH Waddles and Wendy are saved are also okay)  
**

 **Fight Fighters(none of this band-aid solution 'hate each other in silence' stuff! I want to see an aftermath! Have Wendy find out the truth and be mad at both of them if you have to! Just do something different!**

 **Little Dipper(I would prefer you just skip this episode entirely to be honest) (Or better yet, use Steven Universes 'Too short to Ride' episode as a template)(But if you do, do this episode...skip the 'twins idiotically Argue over the crystal instead of saving themselves and their home from Gideon' Scene. Have Dipper punch out Mabel and use the crystal. Or have Mabel punch out Dipper to use the crystal! Just do something different! Especially if it's Crossover! In that case have someone else punch them and use the crystal!)Considering what Dipper just sacrificed for Mable in Time travelers pig...I've always felt that Mable was more then a bit ungrateful and mean in this episode...  
**

 **Boyz Crazy(I actually have no problem with the ending here believe it or not, but I was annoyed that it was rendered somewhat meaningless since there was no aftermath(between Dipper and Wendy anyway). So...you know...go do your thing. I would recommend using Steven universes 'week of Sardonyx' Arc as a template)**

 **Into the Bunker((take a deep breath)look, you can handle the shipping however you want. But you have to have Mabel equally punished for the trouble(it is her fault they were locked in there in the first place after all). (Preferably where Wendy and Dipper are mad at Mabel and refuse to forgive her.)(their also needs to be an aftermath, Dipper having an honest, real conversation with Wendy about how he still has feelings for her and where they go from here. I'd recommend using Steven Universe episodes 'Mr Greg' or 'we need to talk' as templates)(also please just skip 'Roadside attraction' entirely, please)(if your doing a crossover, and bring someone else down there with them, you have to have them stop Mabel from locking Dipper up!  
**

 **Northwest mansion Noir:(Groan) so much wasted potential. Pacifica's parents just forgive her? Nothing comes from the shipping? Pacifica was nearly killed by Wendy's ancestor, and nothing comes from that?)(P.S. I'm aware that a lot of people have actually fixed that in their fics(for which I'm grateful), I just feel that it needs to be said)**

 **Mabel and Dipper v.s. the future(you do what you want with this...just don't make things so ridiculously one-sided and place all the blame on Dipper as it did in cannon(also, Dipper has to find out about Mabel's deal with Bill))**

 **Tertiary objective:**

 **Dipper V.S. Manliness: I always thought it weird that their was no girl(be it Wendy, pacifica, Tambry, or candy, etc) during his 'man trials'. Whether to beat him at being a 'man', laugh at his loincloth(or if he loses said loincloth, make him embarrassed), be inadvertently a crucial part of his 'trial', or just along for the ride...I just think it's a story possibility that should be explored is all... I also feel that Stan's hypocrisy for badmouthing ABBA while he himself watches 'The Duchess Approves' should be explored...as well as Dipper getting mad at Mable ridiculing him after everything he's done for her,  
**

 **Carpet Diem: It always bugged me that nobody cared about Dippers leg getting chewed off by a wolf, A woodpecker biting out his tongue, or his personal belongings getting vandalized...Don't just slap a band-aid solution 'Status-Quo' approved ending on it...make Dipper mad at Mabel for putting him through all that! Have it be a long messy fight! If you make them reconcile...they BOTH have to earn it!(especially Mable)  
**

 **Summerween: Why is it so horrible for Dipper to want to celebrate Halloween his own way? True, he shouldn't of lied, but slanting the episode to put him completely in the wrong for wanting to have fun his own way...was completely unnecessary! Pleas make this episode more balanced**

 **Dreamscape: For the most part I have no complaints about the episode, but it needs to be at least addressed that Stan only 'toughens' up Dipper while letting Mable do whatever she wants. Also, could someone PLEASE tackle Gideon when he's gloating about the Deed in front of the Pines?**

 **Soos and the real girl(I don't get why Melody should have to leave, I'd rather prefer she stayed and have a sub-plot going with Soos)**

 **Blendin's Game(I mostly had no problem with this...but it always bugged me that no one did anything with the 'young Wendy thinks Dipper is cute' storyline...some assistance here would be most appreciated)(I'd also like to see Wendy's reaction to that)  
**

 **Tale of two Stans:(I'm with my fellow fanficton writers. Their should have at least been a small rift popping up between Mabel and Dipper after Mabel trusted Stan over Dipper(Especially considering she prevented Ford from killing Bill!))**

 **Stanchurian Candidate: I feel it was rather selfish for Stan to put his pride over the safety of his family, when they reveal the mind-control to him and he gets mad, lay it on home how he's being selfish and seemingly uncaring about his family!**

 **The last MabelCorn:** **I feel it was rather selfish for Mable to put her needs over the safety of her family, you can keep the 'Unicorns are selfish jerks' revelation if you want, but also lay it on home how she's being selfish and seemingly uncaring about her family!**

 **Roadside Attraction:(Recommended by Emma Iveli) If you MUST do this episode, Mable has to give Dipper more advice then just 'move on'(seriously, it's a bit weird she didn't help him more with this considering how much she loves matchmaking and knows better then anyone else how socially awkward Dipper is) And she and Grunkle Stan need to get into a big argument over who's advice is more valid. (pointing out the hypocrisy of Mable badmouthing flirting with multiple people, when she dose the same would be funny)  
**

 **Weirdmagedon: (can't think of anything...save for wanting to see a fic. where Ford's Bill-Killing Gun actually works...and Maybe some more character development/bonding between Dipper Wendy...and possibly Pacifica)(Oh, having Wendy comfort Dipper over his 'You can't make someone fall in love, you can only be worthy of love' speech would be nice too)  
**

 **Escape from Reality: JUST BURST THE BUBBLE! Especially if it's a crossover! A 22 minute story wrapped up in 5 minutes! Mabel can just deal with it!(it would also be nice if Wendy, Pacifica, or SOMEONE comforted Dipper about not getting any Valentines, also it be nice if someone reminded Wendy and Soos that their friends and family are suffering and they need to rescue them before they go gallivanting in the bubble).  
**

 **Take Back the Falls: If your doing a crossover, you HAVE to have someone from the Crossover-verse SUCCESSFULLY stop Stan from breaking the circle. By threatening him with death or dismemberment if necessary!**

 **EX: Ford: "Him and I...Grammar Stanley"**

 **Stan is about to beat him...when he feels cold steel pressed against his back**

 **Undyne: "YOU %$ #% one foot from where you are, I'll #% &$%$ kill you!"**

 **Stan gulps nervously...but stays in his place...and the cipher is complete...**

 **NOTE: to all Wendip and Dipifica fans alike...have you considered just making a water proof Tyrone and giving him to Pacifica while Dipper has Wendy? You could literally have your cake and eat it too!**

 **ANOTHER note: crossovers with gravity Falls in this challenge are accepted and encouraged! Let your imagination run wild!(But ONLY as long as you don't have the people from said crossover-verse sitting around useless and not letting them change the plot(let the above 'stop Stan from ruining the circle' be your template for ANY other moments in Gravity falls Cannon)**

 **And one more thing...I'm well aware that this might not be some people's cup of tea...so if you want to adopt ANY of my stories...or give them to a friend/acquaintance. That's fine.**

 **This dose NOT mean I'm discontinuing my stories, I'm just trying to give you more options. I will also allow multiple adoptions, so more then one person can enjoy this!**

 **Well, that's more or less it, good hunting YAH'll!**

 **P.S. just a heads up; I'm finally moving into my own place come Christmas/new years...the place is nice, affordable rent, geographically Convenient, free wi-fi...the only downside is I have to wait THREE MONTHS to get said internet set up, it'll be top quality and FREE...but I have to wait at LEAST that long for it.**

 **A friend of mine said he could get a 'hotspot' set up...but who knows what will happen there.**

 **Bottom Line: If my updates online drop off for a couple months or I won't answer your Messages...that's probably why.**

 **But regardless; merry Christmas and a happy new year!**


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